Friday, January 2, 2015

Oh no, not the way to start a new year..

Well 2014 was a very trying year...  I had a roller coaster of a year. I became engaged to an amazing man. We are working hard on getting things together and organized so we can get married. 

My mother has been in and out of the hospital battling the advanced stages of COPD.  We are blessed that she is still with us.  I was denied my disability, appealed, denied the appeal, and now going to the Federal Court for an appeal.  My ex-husband had a heart attack and thankfully survived.

With all that I have been dealing with you can only begin to imagine the level of pain I have been experiencing.  I have a great pain management regime now and I am blessed for that.  This last year also brought on my first Lupus flare. Omgoodness!!!! I could have lived my whole life and never went into active Lupus, but no it decided to rear its ugly head.

Now on January 5, 2015, I will be going in to request a new MRI.  I feel the degenerative disc disease I have has progressed to a very frightful state.  If my feelings are true I am facing back surgery.  I am Mom to two very active, special needs having, and loving children. They are 6 and 8.  I'm more fearful of surgery because I have to provide their every need.  How do I take them to school, doctors appointments, and provide for them while I'm recovering? 

It's not the way I thought I would be starting my new year.  I'm scared, confused, and excited.  If the surgery will help with the unbearable and undescribable pain I'm in, then it will be a huge blessing.  That is what I'm keeping my eye on.  It will be amazing to be able to bend without the sharp, stabbing and debilitating pains in my spine.

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