Monday, August 15, 2011

Fibro, Food, and Me

Once again it is almost 8pm and I still have not eaten anything today. As hard as it might be for some to believe that I am not intentionally starving myself. I am not anorexic... I just simply forgot. Again. Pain is a great appetite suppressant.

I've fed my son, and considered dinner options for my husband. I've shuffled around in the fridge and been in the kitchen multiple times. I discussed food with other members of my support group. But like so many many times before, it just didn't enter my mind that I needed to eat. About an hour ago I ended up cracking open a can of SlimFast, just to get some form of nutrition into me, and it took me nearly 3 hours to finally get the whole thing down (even though it tasted delicious).

I'm just not hungry, and the thought of eating is kinda repulsive. I'm not nauseous, although I am weak and in a pretty thick Fibro Fog. If I get hungry, it goes away by the time I get into the kitchen, and then I forget why I was in there in the first place... and come back out with my belly still empty. It's not abnormal for me to not eat anything until dinner, and to not get truly “hungry” until I'm actually in bed, finally relaxing and allowing the pain meds a chance to work their way into my system.

I know I'm not alone in this.

What is it exactly that makes so many Chronic Pain sufferers unable to force themselves to eat... and even forget all together? Is it that the pain makes us completely not hungry? The side effects of medications? Or that we don't have enough energy to make ourselves food because we haven't had any food?

This last one is a biggie. I was actually hungry a few hours ago, but couldn't drag my sorry behind up off the carpet. And my son was having enough fun climbing on me to be giggling like crazy... how could I stop that? By the time I got into the kitchen I had lost my appetite again, and nothing in the fridge or pantry looked good enough to override the whole “food is repulsive” thing.

I don't think it helps that it can be extremely hard to get to the store to get food in the first place... maybe it's because I am often too lost in a Ffog to be able to drive, or even to compile a list for someone else to go shopping for us. It also doesn't help that most stores are incredibly overwhelming to all of the senses and I have begun avoid them in fear having to process all that stimuli. There is also the fact that all of that reaching and bending and moving and planning and thinking and counting is EXHAUSTING. So is the effort of putting everything away when I get home. And by that time, I am in so much pain my appetite is completely gone again

How does pain change your eating habits?