Tuesday, January 20, 2015
In the blog I wrote the other day about addiction vs. dependency and Robbie's birthday party (see: Robbie's 2nd Birthday: The One With Regrets) I got a comment that meant the world to me, and apparently to a lot of other people as well. This is what my mom wrote in response:
Friday, January 16, 2015
Edit: My Mom's Response
Friday, January 2, 2015
But by late summer my tolerance was up and the patch just didn't cut it. The FDA changed their rules and my precious Norco became a REALLY controlled substance. My doctor cut me off, along with all of her other patients. She refused to prescribe any pain medications anymore, to anyone, for any circumstance.... and with no warning. I was shuttled into a pain management program, filled with fear as to what they would do... if they even "believed" in Fibro.
As I feared, but also secretly hoped, the doctors at the pain clinic do not treat Fibro with pain medications... especially opioids. The anesthesiologist's first demand for me was to start weaning off the Fentanyl. The naturopath's was an elimination diet to see if food allergies were influencing my pain (none found), as well as a huge mess of blood tests that included micronutrient testing that we're still waiting on results for. The therapist and I have begun CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) to rewire my brain's perceptions and reactions... and she has demanded I kickstart this blog and SLOf as a whole back up in addition to keeping a journal.
This month I will be undergoing a Suboxone treatment plan to get my body off the opioids, as the tapering process I've been doing for the last couple months has caused way too many withdrawal problems and takes a really long time to complete. I don't really know what to expect outside of a complete hell during the forced withdrawal before I can take the Suboxone, but my eyes are on the prizes: NOT waking up in an opioid withdrawal every 3 days... the Fibro pain is bad enough without adding to it. NOT having to pay attention to a little clear sticker on my bikini area, NOT remembering to replace patches, NOT picking up an RX every month. NOT being addicted. NOT having side effects.
As scared as I am for the process and the additional pain I will be facing during that forced withdrawal and afterwords (when I will have no more pain medication other than Advil), I'm more hopeful than I've been for an incredibly long time. My naturopath will be doing vitamin therapies with me, as well as chiropractic and PT. My therapist will continue to hold my hand through the process and teach me how to take each step, to think positively, to use breathing and meditation to quiet my nerves and pain. And maybe the anesthesiologist can find something safer that works a little bit better than ibuprofen.
So... I'm taking off on a journey to well-being again. Anyone coming along? I'm determined it will end in a better place than it started.
May it be a Happy New Year.
Well 2014 was a very trying year... I had a roller coaster of a year. I became engaged to an amazing man. We are working hard on getting things together and organized so we can get married.
My mother has been in and out of the hospital battling the advanced stages of COPD. We are blessed that she is still with us. I was denied my disability, appealed, denied the appeal, and now going to the Federal Court for an appeal. My ex-husband had a heart attack and thankfully survived.
With all that I have been dealing with you can only begin to imagine the level of pain I have been experiencing. I have a great pain management regime now and I am blessed for that. This last year also brought on my first Lupus flare. Omgoodness!!!! I could have lived my whole life and never went into active Lupus, but no it decided to rear its ugly head.
Now on January 5, 2015, I will be going in to request a new MRI. I feel the degenerative disc disease I have has progressed to a very frightful state. If my feelings are true I am facing back surgery. I am Mom to two very active, special needs having, and loving children. They are 6 and 8. I'm more fearful of surgery because I have to provide their every need. How do I take them to school, doctors appointments, and provide for them while I'm recovering?
It's not the way I thought I would be starting my new year. I'm scared, confused, and excited. If the surgery will help with the unbearable and undescribable pain I'm in, then it will be a huge blessing. That is what I'm keeping my eye on. It will be amazing to be able to bend without the sharp, stabbing and debilitating pains in my spine.